The other day I had my teacher hat on, a beautiful year two class was my given assignment and the topic talk over our morning tea break was, 'Easter and what it means to me,' AND of course, being with a class of seven year olds, the hot topic was chocolate eggs and how many, what colour, what style, how big and more! That is to be expected right? Who doesn't love an Easter egg hunt and chocolate for days?!

One little boy stood up and in a big brave voice he shared how that for him, it wasn't so much the Easter eggs that gave Easter meaning - though love them he did - and he was grateful that Jesus died on the cross and rose to life again for him and that was a big part of what Easter meant for him too, but more so, he LOVED that at Easter he was able to spend time at home with his family...

So simple and so profound...

He LOVED the opportunity to simply BE WITH those he longed to be present with. It wasn't going anywhere or doing anything big or special... it was to just BE WITH them...

And there it is...

BE. WITH.

And isn't that what the death and resurrection is all about, being able to BE WITH the One who loves us more than anything else? To spend time with Him, not always DOING but BEING with Him.

Mary got that right as she sat at the feet of Jesus. She saw an opportunity to sit at His feet and simply BE WITH Him and in the sitting and BEING, she would have been learning deep truths and simple pleasures and getting to know Him. Not just know of Him.. but to closely and intimately know Him, His character... the truth that His presence is a refuge and strong tower, that being with Him was the greatest gift, the ultimate prize...

This simple year two topic talk question slowed me down and caused me to ask it of myself...

My heart response?

Easter, to me, means that great love has been poured out and has given me the greatest gift... His forever presence... simply because He LOVES to BE WITH me...

AND His love...

It's not just for me to keep to myself, but it's to be shared out of the overflow of love He has poured into my life as I've sat at His feet and allowed His deep truths and love to be life and breath for me...

AND the eggs...

I do love those little chocolate eggs and having one with a cup of tea and Jesus.

So the year two topic talk question falls to you now, tell me sweet soul, about Easter and what it means to you... 

xx PS Don't forget to sign up for my news letter and receive the first module of the Wild Faith Devotional for FREE xx

I can barely breathe…

I swallow hard and perse my dust-encased lips closed.

I try to set my face like stone… unreadable…

My heart is heavy…

I don’t know if I can face the journey again…

My body felt weary before I even took the first step on the desiccated, dusty road to the temple in Shiloh… to worship You.

I am well. My soul is not.

It is fatigued by the inner fight. My heart is divided in this moment. I feel let down, disappointed and unable to trust that You are truly good…

I feel like a waste of space…

Unworthy…

Unloved…

Every year it’s the same…

Pennaniah mocks me and gloats over my bareness…

Bitterness then breeds all kinds of ugliness within my heart and soul toward her and toward You. It seeps in like a poison trying to kill any life or live that is left within me. I am desolate, desperate and in deep despair God.

I see their faces looking sympathetically as I saunter past. Some mock and jeer, others are filled with heartfelt empathy. I can almost hear them whisper the shame I bring upon him, Elkanah, my husband and my love.

How my heart aches for him. He loves me, I know… but I can’t help cloaking myself in the shame I know I bring on him…

My bareness…

I’m empty…

Childless…

A humiliation to my husband…

Not worthy of one portion of food let alone the double portion he places in front of me…

I cannot bear to eat a single morsel.

Why me Lord?

Have I done something wrong?

Have I not remained faithful?

Every year I set my heart on You, believing that You can and will open my womb…

Why hasn’t it happened yet?

Do You even hear me, God?

Are You not the same God who parted the Red Sea and brought down the walls of Jericho?

Aren’t You the God who has remained faithful to His people despite our constant disobedience and poor choices?

You are Him right?

I can trust You and put my hope in the one true God, can’t I?

The One who made a convent promise with Abraham that all people on earth will be blessed through him?

I am one of his children.

Is not Your covenant promise for me too?

Can You open my womb and allow me to be the bearer of life, to be called a blessed woman?

I can’t bear this garment of shame any longer.

So I run…

I run so hard, so fast…

Dust encircles me and invades my lungs and I do not care.

My tears almost blind me and I stumble forward as I arrive at the temple.

Breathless.

Panting.

Desperate.

My body trembles with exhaustion. I simply fall on my knees and weep.

All these years have taken their toll… and I am in the deepest anguish of heart…

So I am here, bursting open the floodgates of my anguished heart and pouring out the deepest parts of my aching soul before You.

Lord, my Sovereign King, it is in this moment that I choose to yield my heart and life to Your great plans.

I choose to fix my mind, my heart and my life on Your governing Lordship alone.

I choose to trust confidently that He who promised is faithful.

I will year after year come and celebrate Your blessings and Your faithfulness in my life.

I boldly ask for a son and believe that You can and will open my purposeless womb to the promise of fruitfulness.

You, God, are great and worthy of all praise.

My heart rejoices in God my savior.

There is no one who gives good gifts and loves humankind out of the purity of holiness like You do.

You breathe life into being.

I will trust You and I will thank You.

If you enjoyed this short story, you may also enjoy reading

A Christmas Tale: May it be to me as you have said...

OR ordering my book, The Freedom Sound